Budapest, Hungary

As a professional, as an entrepreneur you are expected to be a leader. However, being a leader goes beyond these areas. You can also be a leader in the community, in the family or in the couple. But then we have to ask ourselves: Who is the leader? What is being a leader? (For literary purposes I will talk about the leader in masculine, stating clearly that a leader can equally be a man or a woman)

A person who is a leader is a person who will influence others. This influence can be positive or negative. You can be a leader that helps and motivates the development of others or be a leader that leads to destruction and division. While the leader cannot control those who follow him, in one direction or another, the leader can motivate others in a certain direction and influence his community, his partner, his colleague or employees, his friendships.

There are 3 basic steps to develop this leadership:

  1. The first fundamental step in being a leader is to assume and accept to be a leader. Being a leader carries a responsibility. It is the leader who will propose a project and it is also the leader who will be blamed if this project is not beneficial for those who embarked on it. Many times it is preferred to blame others than take responsibility, that is, a leadership is not assumed for fear of being responsible.
  2. Once you have agreed to be a leader, the next step is to give yourself permission to shine, to inspire others. The leader will not force anyone to do things, the true leader will motivate, to excite his followers to do things.
  3. Guide with the example. Whatever you want for your group, do it first yourself and communicate it clearly and effectively to your followers.

This clear and efficient communication has 2 dimensions. One is the internal communication that the leader must have with himself and a second is the external communication with others. Let's explain these concepts a bit:

The communication within himself that the leader must have is that the leader is clear about what he thinks, what he feels and what he wants. The leader must have congruence at these three levels, so that he can direct his energy in the most efficient way in his actions.

Once the leader is clear of his process then he can communicate it to others. Being clear of the direction he wants to take, it is important that the leader motivates others to be part of the process, not only to say that they should do, but to motivate creativity, to invite their followers to contribute to the process and to the project. It is important that the leader makes his people feel important, that they are being a fundamental part of the leader's project. It is important that the leader asks them what they can do to contribute and to grow the project.

It is important that the leader understand, comprehends and know what his limits are, what he can tolerate and what he cannot. As friendly and tolerant as a person may be, we all have our limits and it is important that the leader clearly establishes them with the people around him as this will set standards and behavioral styles.

When setting limits it is important not to make others feel inferior or that you as a leader are "superior." It is essential to show that the limits established are for the growth and benefit of all. It is true that nobody likes limits, but limits also offer containment and strength.

It is imperative that the leader would be emotionally intelligent. The leader has to know himself, manage his emotions, motivate himself and that will lead to motivate others. Being emotionally intelligent, the leader will be a reliable person, he will keep his word that will bring respect from the people around.

While being emotionally intelligent in the present, the leader must also learn from the past and plan for the future. When talking about the past I mean that the leader will have to be aware of what worked and what did not work for him so as not to repeat mistakes and to value the successes. When we talk about the future I mean that the leader must be constantly growing and constantly evolving. With this growth new ideas will come, he will have to develop new skills, manage his thoughts and feelings better and better.

Many times a process of psychotherapy will help the leader to be more efficient, to develop more as a human being and be more successful.

Pablo Munoz